Grieving a loved one

Loosing the love of your life, a close family member or a dear friend can be devastating. It leaves a void in your whole being and your soul as a part of you dies with his/her departure. Dying is a sudden moment but from the moment it happens the missing begins. A big dark space of emptiness remains of the person in our lives. This void cannot be filled with cigarettes or alcohol or chocolates or music or flowers or another person. It’s a black empty space that stays with us-but as time goes on it’s filled with memories. Over time the deep shock changes to calmness and the sadness to happiness for the person to be released from the burdens of this earth, so one can slowly but surely function again on a logical level, but the emotional level grieving can take forever. 

As a Christian who believes in eternal life I have the hope to see the love of my life again in the peace and calmness of heaven where we will be walking hand in hand in the clouds, maybe we will be swimming in the waterfalls of rainbows and singing together in the choirs of angels 

The thought of loosing your loved one can be really scary and if you know that they are suffering of a life-threatening sickness like heart failure or cancer is not only shocking news but keeps lingering over you and him/ her all the time. The stress this situation can have on a relationship is horrendous and many nights are filled with tears and fears and questions like: what will happen with the one who goes and with the one who stays? One can take time to speak about the fears, but one can also take the time to celebrate every moment together. 

If medically nothing can be done about the physical well-being of the partner, there is still emotional well-being. Finding humour in life and lookin at the wonders around you together makes your moments together treasures to remember. Seemingly small things like watching a sun-ray dancing on the window sill. The wind blowing the curtain, the birds singing in the tree or the pattern of a flower. So many good and wonderful things surround us. It’s the eye of the beholder that will find them.

The death of a loved one brings relief as the suffering will finally be over. The constant worry about the person that loves you and that you love can be intense. It takes over everything and should because it’s real. But to let go and let God can bring peace of mind and peace of heart to both of you. He or she will be in the loving presence of our Lord and you will be taken care of by the angels on this earth. 

The shock of loosing a loved one by a sudden accident  or health issue cannot be less traumatic. It’s hard because one needs to deal with it in one shot. This is very scary and can cause your nervous system to break down completely. Resulting in anxiety attacks and insomnia. 

Only time can heal the shock as your brain works through all the phases after the death of the loved one. 

Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover and to grief. Cry and pray. It helps but also go out and think about the beauty of having that person with you until the memories are less painful and more assuring that the person still loves you beyond all realities. 

Keep your eyes on the scripture which is loved by so many. Ps 23. The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want he makes me down to lie in green pastures he leads me to the quiet waters. My souls he restores again and gives me strength to walk again. Goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. Even if I walk in the valley if darkness, you are with me and your shepherd stick will guide me along the way.

Glory be to God. He knows what He is doing and one day we will understand. He may take our loved ones to Him into heaven but He knows what path He has in mind for you both and will never leave nor forsake either of you. Keep your eyes on Him. 🥰🙏🏼 And be strong through Him.