To control or to be controlled that is the question

Picture: (Helderberg Nature Reserve)Field Lilly

We have an innate need to either control or to be controlled. The media knows this. We don’t necessary do. 

Controlling has many facets. It can be how we deal with food and drinks, with smoking,  exercising or even finances. With family, friends and work. With relationships and even time. We either control them or allow them to control us. 

People that want to control others often have a need to proof themselves. They do not need approval by others. They have the opinion that they are the ones that have that power. They approve of something not the other way around. 

They also want things to be organized in straight lines and to keep everything super clean and can be easily seen as perfectionists. 

Their lives exist of lists and lists of work and often they take on more than they should to proof to themselves and the world that they can do it. 

They tend to get burnout and can be very demanding. Some speak their mind and expect others to do exactly as they believe others should live. Constantly dishing out advice and telling people how they should be living their lives. These people can be a huge irritation since they do not consider the feelings of others and can say upsetting things like all blonds are dumb. They even categorize people into groups because that way they can ‘control’ them.

People that allow themselves to be controlled are seeking approval by giving and often giving in too much. They do everything they can to be good to others. To help them others in any way they can and give so much that they can also be burnt out. These people are often binge watching, binge eating, binge drinking and binge shopping. They allow the urge to be controlled to take over. Giving a lot of their time, energy, knowledge and support to everyone makes them feel wanted and completed. But they can also suffer from burnout or anxiety because they cannot please everyone all the time. They are often overweight from eating and drinking and they also smoke too much. They do not pick fights and are rather standing back and are giving in or are avoiding a confrontation by not saying anything. 

They often have a bad self image and believe that they are never good enough. They are either the middle children or the youngest in the family, because the are bullied by their older siblings. 

It is the biggest challenge this life has brought upon us to find a balance and to let it all go to the master who cares for us. Be neat and organized but be aware that it does not influence your relationships and do not allow your need for acknowledgement or power o er other to control your mind. Think about the reason why you were created. God wants to communicate with you. No person can be as reliable as him. He loves you unconditionally. He rested on a Sunday to take a break and just walk in the garden of Eden. 

Be nice to yourself and others. Stop being in a hunger diet or binge eating. God loves you with or without high heels or a partner. He loves every part of you because he made you in a unique way. Take time to bath yourself in the sun and to read some cool novel. Just let it go and make time for that. 

Turn to Jesus every morning and speak to Him all day. Also talk about your weaknesses and give them to Him. “Cast all your worries upon Him, for he cares for you”. Trust  his guidance, like a child can trust his parents. Love each person for being who he or she is. Have a beautiful day!